she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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