i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
