butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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