Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
