I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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