No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
