I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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