no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
