I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we're making bets on your personal life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
