She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just cut my nipple shaving
farters have to be the big spoon...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
