You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
