Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
