She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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