He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
