I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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