She is in my trunk
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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