ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
