I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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