i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
