Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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