Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize