Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
