after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
