If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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