He had one of those small greek statue penises
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
