its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
