I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
