using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
