those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
