dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
