i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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