Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how do flat chested girls get laid?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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