we have pet lesbian snakes
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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