i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
