Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i now understand why vodka
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
