The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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