Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
