what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
When are your genitals available?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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