You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
