i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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