apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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