Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
