is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
