This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
