she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
