turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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