I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
