I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
