I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
