I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize