STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
