i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
