what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
