We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
