is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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