Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fritzy909 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

Was it cool?

(1-904): View more from Florida

About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.

Fav 31 1077 7914
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.

Fav 18 4887 778
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal

Fav 15 1392 3301
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

Fav 13 1250 3855
share tweet
(864): View more from South Carolina

you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night

Fav 13 10373 1146
share tweet
(769): View more from Mississippi

she said she likes her vagina punished

(1-769): View more from Mississippi

being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough

Fav 36 2207 7518
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?

Fav 24 6214 1971
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(434): View more from Virginia

Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning

Fav 4 1345 652
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(701): View more from North Dakota

Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?

Fav 0 42 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT