Who did Billy Mays play for?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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