Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
