have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
